Day 3.

Wednesday was most denfinitely hump day. Going back to the workshop on Tuesday was okay. The balls of my feet hurt a little because they aren't used to supporting all of my weight at once, but when I got up Wednesday morning I nearly fell over. The balls of my feet were still sore, my calves hurt and my quads were weak. And I had an hour before I was to undure more working. During the warm up (where we do stretches and various crunches, working out, and other painful activities) I could feel my calf muscles as though they were separate entities from my legs. I could feel the muscle fibers pulling and rubbing against each other as I would contract, and I could feel them push as I released. It was weird. It was like I had a hard ball sitting next to my leg and when I could move I could feel it press against the back of my leg. And that was just the beginning of my day. I can only hold home position for a short while before my knees start to burn. Something is wrong in the way I am standing. My knees don't align with my toes so holding a bent knee position like that starts to hurt. I need to work on pushing my knees out while my feet are straight so that everything ends up in the same direction. But then my problem became that I was overcompensating. I need to figure out where the comfortable balance is. By lunch time, I couldn't feel 2 of my toes on my left foot. I didn't end up feeling them until about 7pm last night.
Before we started working on choreography, Suhaila talked to us about our "issues" of the day. Apparently in every week long workshop, Wednesday is when all the personal issues surface. Every time we dance adn try, we have the 2 little voices. One saying that we can do it, and the other telling us we can't (both of my voices have spoken here) and Wednesday is when the can't-voice screams louder than the can. It's hump day. During our moment, things became very emotional. One woman started crying. One woman equated how in the warm up when we are doing our 10 minutes of presses (a very painful thing that ...sucks) when she feels like she can't do it, her can't voice tells her that she's never going to get a job like this. How is she going to succeed at anything if she can't even do the presses? There are some things that when we do them, we get very emotional and for some reason (maybe pain?) we get a scrunched look on our face and any minute we will cry. I was kind of shocked to see so many other seasoned dancers struggling with the same things I am, and near tears at the same places I am. I originally thought this workshop would bring dancers that are even more advanced that the ones I am dancing with in class, but really, some are better, and some are on my exact level. We are the full spectrum of level 2 dancers. In class, there are level 2.5 and some who are in level 3. I keep forgetting that those girls are at the school all the time, where as the workshop girls fly in specifically for this opportunity.
That was hump day. Today is day 4 for us. I am looking forward to being past my breaking point and having a day very reminiscent of day 1 or 2. My toes are numb again, and the balls of my feet feel like there are really balls stuck to the bottom of my feet (this feeling I am sure is what is making my toes numb), and my calf muscles are sore, but I am sure today will go excellently. Oh, and for a smidge of knitting post, I brought my boise to the workshop and finished 4 rows before the start and at lunch. I'm still knitting!!